Holiday Visits May Be the Time to Talk About Home Care

For most of us, winter holidays are wrapped up with family traditions. Mom's special turkey dressing and beautifully decorated table symbolize Thanksgiving. Heirloom ornaments adorn the Christmas tree. A menorah passed down through the generations is a special Chanukah symbol. Diwali lamps brought from India by elders help connect Canada-born children with their heritage. And during Eid ul-Fitr, senior loved ones are honored during the feasting that marks the end of Ramadan.

So, no matter where we live, most Canadians want to spend the special winter holidays with loved ones. Busy airports overflow with travelers, and there is that special moment when we ring the doorbell to our childhood home and are greeted by the smell of baking and by hugs from our parents and grandparents.

But for many families this year, holiday visits will include the realization that their senior loved one's condition is changing. The house isn't as spotless as Mom has always kept it. Maybe Dad—always so conscious of his personal grooming—looks as if he hasn't shaved in a few days. And then there is the holiday dinner, several hours late because Grandma forgot to turn on the oven.

It's hard to accept that our parents aren't as self-sufficient and strong as they once were. But we can turn that concern into action, supporting the desire of elder loved ones to be safe and healthy while preserving the greatest independence possible. While everyone is together for the holidays, this might be a good time for a family meeting about the care needs of senior relatives.

Sometimes when family members realize their loved one is having trouble with the activities of daily living, they immediately suggest a move into an assisted living or other senior care community. In some cases, this is the best choice. But most seniors want to stay in their own homes—and home healthcare services can be a great way to support that choice.

If you are worried that living independently is becoming too great a challenge for your loved one, but he or she prefers to stay at home, in-home personal care is an excellent solution to provide security and peace of mind when you can't be there yourself.

You can arrange for a qualified home care agency to send a caregiver every day of the week, or occasionally as needed. The agency may begin with a health care needs assessment. A carefully selected in-home caregiver can:

• Help with housekeeping, laundry and other household chores
• Assist with personal care, such as bathing and toileting 
• Prepare meals, including special diets 
• Transport the client to the market, pharmacy, doctor's appointments, or just "out and about" 
• Help with medication reminders 
• Provide companionship and a sense of security  
• Enable the senior to feel a sense of greater dignity by being able to remain in their own home 
• Ensure peace of mind by keeping family members—nearby or at a distance—advised about their loved one's well-being.

Whether a parent's decline is gradual, or the result of a sudden health event, this is an emotionally difficult time for most adult children. But family caregivers report that what helps the most is a sense of stepping up to the plate to "care for Mom, who once cared for me." Elderly care services at home can be the "missing link," taking over personal care tasks so that children and loved one can spend their time together on things they enjoy—catching up on the year's events, attending social events, enjoying the grandchildren…the kinds of activities that promote continued family unity and enhanced quality of life.

During the holidays and year-round, the peace of mind that comes from at-home senior care can be a gift for everyone.

For More Information

Read Choices each month for information about the concerns of family caregivers, including ideas of the many ways in-home care supports the well-being of senior loved ones.